I'm sorry and thank you...

I'm back!  Yes!  After quite a long time! :)

The forth semester has begun and I don't know if I can survive...

I felt really down in the first semester, and felt better after the second and finally gain my confidence in the third semester.  But now....  I don't know...  I need a long holiday!

By the way, I have told you about my blood type.  Yes, I'm an O type.

After browsing for quite a long time, I found a comic that illustrates every characteristics of each blood type.

It can be true or false, but it's based on a research done in Japan or something like that.

Today I talk about our future partner with my friends while doing our ASSignments.  They asked me about what will I do when I have a boyfriend.

I honestly haven't thought about it, maybe I will change to be more girlier(?) or maybe I will stay the same.  But the comic above maybe will represents what will my relationships be in the future...but who knows.. :D

Okay, enough about that relationships thingy (since maybe all the singles might be a little sensitive when Valentine Day is nearing).

What I can say is, you don't need to have someone to be your valentine on 14th of Feb.  Just be more patient for everyone out there who's waiting for their true love..brohohoho~

Enough, I'm going to talk about this illustration (or you can say, comic)

As you can see, the O type tends to look for the third party to vent their anger.  It can help them to de-stress, but also make the other people become exhausted.

I have just realized about this maybe a month ago.

Me and my mother are the only O type and sometimes if my mother have any problem outside or if my little bro and sist don't do what my mom have said, she will be angry.

And she always tell me about everything that makes her angry.

Actually I have no problem listening to others' if it can help them to de-stress or help them to give some advice.  

I used to have friends calling me at 12 AM only to talk to me although we will meet at school later, and I have no problem with it.  As long as I can help, why not?

But recently it makes me exhausted.  

Someone has been telling me her story and I always feel exhausted after finish listening to her.

Her?

It's my mother.

Why?

Because it feels like my mother is being angry to me when she is telling me about her problems.

So I quite agree about this comic and start thinking by myself because maybe I have that someone where I can tell everything and vent my anger to him/her to de-stress myself.

I have been thinking about it for a week.  Well, I just want to say thanks, for being my friend where I can tell you everything about me.  Thanks to my friends that always force me for my own goodness.  And I feel sorry if I make him/her (since I haven't realized the person) exhausted with my story.

Oh yeah, I'm now learning Chinese.  I hope I can make this chance to learn everything while I can.  At least I can talk a normal daily conversation as soon as possible.

Actually now I'm feeling tired and quite dizzy.

Had just back from a lesson and then start helping my mom while a irresponsible one is having holiday tomorrow but do nothing to help.

Too tired and it's hard to sleep.

Haven't done some assignments, haven't read some reading materials.  KILL ME!

That's enough for today, I think I will be listening to Norah Jones' The Long Day Is Over all day.

The song is just relaxing and simple.

Wan an! :)

My Resolution? 1080x720....

First post in 2013!  Happy (late) new year! 

Actually I'm bored since now I'm having my quite long holiday, yay!

Being nocturnal, I try to do something like playing games on Facebook or just browsing random stuffs.

And of course, I'm not in productive mode during holiday, so I just spend my night (since I sleep during days) eating potato chips and drinking soft drinks (stomach, I'm sorry...)

So, this is a new beginning!  I made some resolutions (more like to-do list) this year.

I'm not doing it like last year, posting it through my facebook and hoping it would motivate me but yeah...as you all know, in the end I couldn't do it because I'm too lazy.

So this year I decided just to make a simple to-do list because every great things begins with just a small step right?  

I don't want to aim for big things because I know I don't have enough will to do it.

Here's my goal this year :

1. Save my money at least 100.000 a month.
   Why?  Because I spent too much last year.
   I had my savings from the angpao(s) I received and the remainings of my payment since I quited the job I had on the first semester.
   But there are some things that make me so stressed and I end up spending it for watching movies and eating tasty foods.
   I had to endure spending Christmas and New Year without having tasty foods because I don't have any money left.
   I SPEND IT ALL AND I DON'T REGRET IT! HAHAHAHAHA!
   
   So this year I will try to save some money so I will be able to spend it for something important (like buying snacks for the Christmas and New Year).
   Well, if it's possible, maybe I can use my savings for buying new guitar or accessories later~  I don't know, but right now I want to save my money!  REALLY!
   My wallet is empty (not really since few days ago my grandma gave me some money, thanks grandma!).
   I hope I can discipline myself and become rich at the end of the year..MUHAHAHAHA!
   
2. Grow nails.
   Yeah...  I want to have a long fingernails, I had a bad habit because I love to peel my nails off.
   I never had long fingernails at least 5 of 10 fingers.
   That's why my fingernails always short and sometimes bleeding badly, so I think I have to grow my nail and endure the urge to peel it off.
   I have to stop it because having bleeding fingers is sometimes annoying.
   The second reason is because someone keep asking me to play the guitar at random ocassion and I often forgot to bring the guitar pick with me so I think I will play better with long nails (remembering that my fingers bleed badly the last time I had to play guitar with a steel strings).
   So, the second to-do list is abot my fingers and fingernails!
   
3. Finish reading Bible. 
   I have post it in 2011 as my resolution but I can't do it for long since it's boring (I have to admit it's hard for me to read bible everyday, even if the lecturers give some reading materials, I will only read it once without paying much attention).
   It's now 4th January 2013 and I've been reading what I have to read.  I don't know why I can do this, maybe it's because I'm so bored so I try to do something I rarely do (hope it won't stop even if the holiday has ended).
   I was also think about doing sport since I rarely go outside because I'm too lazy and all I do is just sleep, eat, play PC, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, and that's all.
   But...yeah, I'm just TOOOOO lazy.
   
4. Help my parents.
   It doesn't mean that I didn't help my parents during 2012.
   I want to force myself to help my parents doing their job, or maybe some small things that will help them or make them happy.
   I realize that family (parents) is the most important things for me as I get older (well, I'm 19 going on 20).
   They accept me as who I am, support me a lot, take a really good care of me.
   I felt a little bit sad when they ask me carefully to help them because they're really busy, I used to become really angry when they asked me because I was tired after having a busy day with my study and later I felt really sorry because they became so careful with their words and actions towards you.
   And after that incident I just think that to help means that you have to sacrifice something you have like the time, energy, thoughts, or other material things for someone.
   I now think that helping your parents means that you're willing to help them although you're having something important to do.  Family comes first!
   So I have to sacrifice my free-time which usually I spend it by sleeping or playing the PC to help my parents.
   Although it's tiring and sometimes boring, I want to lighten their burden.
   And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; (Colossians 3:23 KJV)
   It explains everything right?
   The first reason to help our parents is because they are our parents who loves us.
   The second is because we help them not only for our parents but also we do everything for the Lord.  We can't separate our spiritual life from our daily life, it has to be seen as one.
   That's why sometimes I don't like people who goes to church more often and pay no attention to their family.
   Well, that's just my opinion.

So I guess that's all.  I haven't thought of something to do this year, but of course I want to get better in everything I do.

And now I want to share the song which I think are good.

1. Yohio - Sky Limit ; and Our Story.  You can search his Music Video.  Yes, he's a guy but he looks more girly than me!  For me, it's quite weird to see his MV but I really love Sky Limit and Our Story!
   
2. Linkin Park - The Messenger.  The song is just nice.  End of the story.
   
3. Girls' Generation - IGAB/I Got A Boy (and it means that the whole album is good!) [SOSHI COMEBACK SOSHI DAEBAK!]
    I personally like Lost In Love because it's the duet between Taeyeon and Tiffany.  Taeyeon is my favorite singer and Tiffany's is my second bias in SNSD I guess?
   Romantic St. is good too~!  I love the intro and it's a good song to listen while you're doing your paper or anything.
   I love Promise too~ because of Taeyeon's sweet voice (as always) and it's RnB feeling.  I have to admit that I'm not good to guess the genre.
   And lastly of course I Got A Boy! (I will stop after this because I will recommend all of them if I keep going).  Why I Got A Boy?  Because of Taeyeon!  And well, the music is different from the other songs like The Boys, Gee, etc.  The MV is pretty cool tooo~ They don't wear heels and they dance more powerful!
   

   

   Baby Ellena, my niece~ <3

Well, that's enough for now!

I hope this year will be a wonderful year where we all can be a better person and I hope I can get more money on CNY :P

By the way, have you thought that someday our parents will leave us?  I don't know... it was my random thought when I was having a conversation with my parents and when I think about it.....  I become really worried of losing them.  So I want to make them happy while I still have time.

Be grateful, try to be thankful even though it's just small things before the time teach us how to be thankful.  That's why I made a long list of what I'm thankful for during 2012.  And I will do it for this year too~

Jehovah Rapha, The Lord is my Healer.  He's the Healer of my troubles, sicknesses, and my souls.  Jehovah Jireh, The Lord is my Provider.  Jehovah Shalom, The Lord is our Peace.  Let Your will be done.  <3 M & U! :)

 

Me out~

Standing Egg.

Sunday morning and I skipped church.

I was planning to stay awake after (nearly) finished my paper because I had been sleeping all day on Saturday.  

But I fell asleep at about 4.00 and of course when my mom wakes me up, I could not wake up and decided to sleep.  

I was so sleepy and of course when we are tired, we act accordingly to our body (well maybe it's only me who lacks of determination).

Yes Taeyeon, you're my little star..
Hope she will sing Little Star someday
since she's my fav singer.

Sigh.

Fortunately I sent a message to my brother asking him to buy me i-Cup's Green Tea Green Apple and Green Tea Kiwi with rainbow jelly.  

It tastes really good!

Thank God I can work on my paper without much difficulties(or maybe I just did it because I do not know what to do anymore, I'm suck at making paper *cry silently*

Okay, I have been searching about Urban Zakapa after listening to "Just The Two of Us" and I found so many good song by Urban Zakapa!  

But when I was in the middle searching for more, my friend suggest me to look for Standing Egg.  

It's a strange name right?  

But after listening to one of their song, I fell in love with the male voice!

And one of the reason why I fell asleep is because I was listening to Little Star by Standing Egg.  

It is nice and the male voice just like singing lullaby for you so you can sleep peacefully.  

And after I wake up, I searched for the lyrics.  

So this is the lyric's translation :

Close your eyes and listen carefully to my story

Before my story ends, you will dream

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

When I first met you, it was truly eye-blinding

When I first saw your smile, I felt like I had the whole world

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

When I see you fast asleep in my arms

I can’t take my eyes off you for a second

You’re so pretty – I feel like my breath will stop

How can I fall asleep?

My love, my everything, my angel from heaven

My two eyes, my world – you stole them all

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

When I see you fast asleep in my arms

I can’t take my eyes off you for a second

You’re so pretty – I feel like my breath will stop

How can I fall asleep?

Close your eyes and listen carefully to my story

Before my story ends, you will dream

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

My love tonight

All night, I will watch over you

All night, I will watch over you

(cr: popgasa.com)

See?  This is a lullaby, a romantic one to be precise.  

Well for those who already have boyfriend, you can imagine your boyfriend sing this song to you while playing guitar.  

But for me, I imagine that I sing this song to my niece or nephew while she/he is going to sleep or sing it while hugging a pug let it to sleep in my embrace (if you ask why, because I want a pug as a pet and pug is just too cute! :3).

So, because I am a subjective person, if I like one of the song (USUALLY) I will like it all.

one pack just for my bangs..and it's still brownish
maybe I need more...

I like all of Standing Egg's song (well, maybe not all because I'm not finish searching) because it's all relaxing and it's good to play if while you're doing your homework (it works well with me because I can finish one of my paper).

And this Little Star is good to listen before you sleep.  Sleep well! :P

The second term of mid-test is on Monday, and I have to prepare myself.

But the paper is so stressing, so I relieve my stress by......bleaching my bangs.

I know it is a weird way to relieve the stress, but that's how I do it! Having my hair cut or dyeing it will relieve my stress.  Moreover I love to express myself through my hair.

Looks alay? Never mind!  I love it! :)

Random Post : My Tour Beats by Dre.

Mine! 

 Okay, long time no see?  I'm doing one of many assignments but I decided to write this since my head really hurts after reading so much.  I'm doubting my choice entering IR (again..).

So, because I lost my original earphone for my iTouch (Still wondering did I drop it? Or did the maid steal it from me?  Okay, positive thinking!  Maybe careless me really drop it somewhere...  Goodbye good earphone! *silently cried*), I brought this tour with me today to campus since I had to stay at campus quite long and life is boring without music.

This is the second (I think..) thing I bought with my own money, my own salary after I bought my precious Angry Birds bed sheet so it will match with my Angry Birds blanket (it's 'balmut' actually.)

I bought it because it's cable is unique.  And I have many earphones and having trouble with its cable because it tangles easily.  So when I saw this Tour Beats, I think it's unique.  I like the color and design, also the cable because it's not tangled easily.  I like this!

But of course, after seeing the price...  It's expensive.

So I decided to bury the dream of having this earphone.

White and Black(and red) beats.

Maybe it's the fate(?) that my beloved cousin showed me his new Tour to me the next month.  It's the OEM version, he said.  Okay, since I'm not an expert so I can't differentiate the genuine or the fake one. And I'm still confused with the definition of OEM.  Let's say because I tried the in-earphone and I thought it's good, also the price is not too expensive (I mean, I can afford myself.) so I decided to buy it.

Many people said that it's not a good earphone.  But for me it's perfect.

It seals completely when I listen to the music so I can't hear the sound from outside and the bass is enough for me.  I'm not audiophile, an expert, or anything.  But its sound, its shape is perfect for me so I bought it.  Although yes, I can't use it while sleeping because it will hurts when I'm leaning on my side.

I also bought the white one for my brother as a present on his birthday.  At first when I bought mine, he was like jealous and told me that mine is not good.  There is something better than this.  But I bought one for him, hide it under his pillow.  And when he found it, he felt really happy.  and...nearly cried? :P Admit it bro, you love it, don't you?  If not, then I will gladly take it back!  *evil laugh*

Comparison

 So...  Yeah..  After getting the white Tour I was hesitating because the white one is also beautiful. And I was thinking that I could keep it by myself (of course, since it's bought with my own money I have the right to keep it right?) but I decided to give it to bro, according to my early intention bought the white one.

So...  After some time, I ask my bro to switch the earpiece.  The white earpiece is so tempting, so finally I asked him and he agreed.  We switch, he has the black one while I'm having the white earpiece and I'm using it now.

And later..  I was kinda...  awkward?  Because me and my brother used to have same things.  Like my iTouch.  My bro has it too.  Although he has 32GB iTouch while mine is 64GB (and I don't feel the memory is enough since I often put random songs and videos.)  We used to have match shirts at the elementary, etc.

Mine(left), Bro's(right)

And I'm thinking what to buy for my little sister, I have bought her couple key chain (for me and my little sister) because we're look alike and can't be apart.

I used to go quite far and every time I go she always fell sick.  Poor her.  Although now she's really really (sometimes actually) annoying.  I still love her and I want to give her something.  It feels nice as an older sister to be able to make my lil' bro-sist happy.  Also feels great too to have your parents happy. Right?

Actually I'm feeling not well now.  And I think I wrote this badly.  My neck hurts since few days ago.  I can't concentrate driving if it continues like this.  I skip my BIHI too this morning because I had extreme headache and decided to get more sleep, hoped the headache would go away but it's not.

There will be important event at the end of the month and I'm not feeling well..  I hope everything will go well....

Comparing...  Again.

The Earpieces

Donating Blood.

I think it was 14 April 2011, where I still in highschool.

A white van entered our school and that's when I had my first experience in donating blood.

So I went with my friends to donate our blood because I was 18 and it means that I'm allowed to donate my blood.  

We were really curious about donating blood because of course we haven't experienced it before (except for those who had their blood taken for the test.  I used to have my blood taken to, but it was when I still 5 maybe?).

First we have to fill a form about ourselves whether we have allergies, or any diseases that will prevent us from donating blood because it will be dangerous for the receiver later.

After filling the form, I went to check my weight, blood-pressure, and my blood type.

The officer cleaned the tip of my ring finger and put something like pen then "click", I felt a sting then I saw my finger bleeding quite much.

The officer took it carefully to check the hemoglobin and my blood type.

I was sure that my blood type is B because my mother said that.  And I love checking the characteristic of "B" type people and I thought.. YES, I'm a blood B.

But the officer says that I'm an O-type, it means that I get the same as my mom who says that I'm a B-type.

(Mom, I had lived my 18 years thinking that I'm a B-type!  Feels like an eagle who lives with the chicken and doesn't know that it can fly high because it's eagle!  Not a chicken!  I'm an O-type!  Not a B-type!  LOL!  I'm exaggerating it. ;))

After knowing my blood type, and qualified to donate blood, they gave me a...what I should call it?  Blood bags?  It's written an O-type with positive rhesus.  I wait for my turn to donate blood because it was quite crowded.  After some time, I became more and more nervous.  What if it hurts like when we get an injection?

Although worrying about the pain, my turn had come and I slowly walk to the chair.

Another officer greeted me, and asking me whether I'm afraid of needles or not.

"No.", I said.

She then tried to find my vein, but after some time, she still couldn't find it even she tried on my other hand and it's still hard to find.

She finally able to see a little and decided to clean the area where she would jab the needle.

Fortunate me, she's a skillful one.  One of my friend whined because the officer who took his blood is still a newbie.  She inserted the needle a little bit slow and her hands were shaky, making it painful for my friend.

The needle inserted into my vein and the blood start pouring out.  I'm amazed to see the crimson red blood, my own blood flowing out from my body to the blood-bag near the chair on a digital scale.

Well, it hurts earlier, but it doesn't hurt at all when the blood is flowing out (except you keep moving your arm so the needle won't stay still).

I finished a little bit late because the officer said that my blood is hard to come out, even she used the tool to measure blood pressure a few times (which left few red marks on my upper hand after it) and asking me to pump it by making my hand into a fist then open it and do it again a few times.

Finally the blood bag was full and she cut it before letting another cc of my blood to use it as a sample.

I don't feel anything wrong and happily receive the delicious food provided by the school and the PMI.

That day I felt really happy, don't know why but I felt really happy because I feel like I'm able to give something, to help someone in need.

Mom and Dad

Another lazy day.

I have to admit that I'm lazy, I like doing something simple for certain things.

My mom has been telling me that I have to tidy my bedroom.

I have many things in my room, there're cables and jacks, guitars, and some stickdrums.

Well, I have many books and things, I love to keep many things because its memories like some presents from my friends and cousins, although it's broken I still keep it because of its memories.

And to make things worse, there're many things that aren't mine but it's placed in my room, that's why I never take a good care of those which aren't mine.

But I really take care of my things well! (I guess..)

For example, Nite.  Nite is my accoustic-electric (what should I call it?  Semi-accoustic?  Semi-electric guitar?)

Applause, by Ovation.  This black guitar is my Christmas present from my someone special (from my family).  And a "home" for Nite, a black cool hardcase to protect my guitar because I often bring it to school or church.  And not only a guitar, she let me to buy a stompbox.  Behringer hot pink SUPER METAL!

Accompanied by my cousin (thanks for taking me looking around, and for the pancakes!), I bought those things not to forget I bought the most expensive guitar strings I've ever seen too!  (I know maybe there'll be more strings expensive than this certain brand, but my Nite's strings is the most expensive I've ever bought). Then some good additional cables.

Because it's new, I take care of them very well.

I clean my Nite everytime I finish playing then put it slowly in the case, I place the cables and not to forget clean it if I bring the cables outside and place it gently.

But my mom doesn't know this.  She says I'm a lazy person. :(

I seldom playing guitar now, but I will take a good care everytime I play.
Actually I lost the battery case when I was doing my final and of course..  I can't find it anywhere now..
I'm sorry Nite~, I'm really sorry.. :|

People may call me stingy, because I SOMETIMES don't want to share with others.
For example, I bought my own sheets because I don't want the others to use it.
I also want to have my own nail-clippers and something like that because I don't want people to lose it, making me mad because they don't take a good care of those things.. That's why..

Am I stingy?  Really?  I don't think so..  Maybe..
Argh~!  I'm so tired! "Hunyaaaang~" *Alligator Yawn* to day is the birthday of my father and he is going out with my mother, picking my bro and sist up from their school and do some business while me...
Staying at home by myself, and a maid who's older than me but really love watching cartoon.

Actually I want to go out too, but I can't since I was preparing making surprise for my father.
I tried to look dumb, forgetting my own father birthday although I seldom forget it (and my father is the one who often forgets).
Everything has been done now, but they're still out and I'm starting to feel sleepy.

By the way, I bought Tiramisu Cake for my father because he said that he likes it.
I bought it by saving for a few weeks and use my remaining salary and looking for the online cake shop.
I asked my mom to help me to transfer the money and of course I gave the money to my mom, but she gave it back.
I had forced her to take it back but she kept resisting me, so I treat her and my little bro-sist.
We ate at Tokyo Connection without letting my dad knows about it and I feel happy to see my sister's happy face.  She really likes sushi (me too~) and I always want to make my family happy although sometimes I have a fight with my bro-sist.

Well, I will upload my father's birthday cake next time.  Now I'm feeling nervous, my hands are shaky because I'm in over-excited mode.. *sigh*  my stomach hurts everytime I feel nervous or excited.

Wish me luck, I hope my dad will forgive me because I pretend to forget his birthday.
Happy birthday BABEH! :D

Death.

Have you ever think about your own death?

Have you ever think where will you go after you're dead?

Have you ever think, what will remain after you're gone?

What will you say, in the last minute before the angel of death picks you up?

Nothing will stay after you're dead, your flesh will be gone eaten by maggots, your bones will slowly turn into ashes.

I've wondering what will I say when I'm going to death, the moment death will come to me I will say "God help me!".

The moment when you suddenly slipped and is going to hit the floor, sometimes there will be pictures like a film about important moments to you appears in your mind.  At the times when you think that you're going to die, and that's what I've said when I suddenly slipped when walking downstairs at my home.

Why I will say "God help me!"?  Because I think that I haven't done anything meaningful for me or people around me.  And of course I haven't know what kind of place I will be if I'm dead, will I be nothing after I'm dead?  Just..perished?

One of my lecturer used to tell us that everyone knows when they're going to face their death.  We knows when the angel of death is preparing to pick us up.  And it can be seen through few stages.

the first is DENIAL, 'penyangkalan'.

No one will be thankful that they're going to die.  Normal people won't be happy if they feel that they're going to die.  The thought of death is something scary and they will try not to think about it because it's scary.  We're all afraid of death because we don't know what will happen to us after we're dead.  Although some religions tell us that we're going to heaven or hell, still... We will experience this fear of death although it will be in different levels each person.

For example, A has cancer and the doctor tell A that he has no hope, they'll act like they're fine, like they're healthy and hoping that the death won't come to them.

the second is ANGER, WRATH, 'marah'.

From the first stage they deny that they're going to die, but no one can't stop the death.  And because they can't stop it, they feel angry to themselves or tries to provoke conflict from people around them by getting angry and blaming all the people around them.  My lecturer told us that in this stage, that people need more love and patience from the people around them so their anger will be gone and they can go to the next stage. If not, they'll keep blaming themselves or people around them and they'll meet their death while still being angry and of course everyone wants to die peacefully right?

the third is BARGAINING, 'tawar-menawar'.

After being denial that death will meet them soon, the angel of death still keep coming.  They try to blame themselves or people around them, but the angel of death keep on its pace walking toward them.  They become frustated and helpless like a baby who can't do anything.  They know they can't do anything to stop the death, that's why they will try to persuade the death to come next time, not now, don't know when the next time but not now, not today, not this week or not this month.  They try to exchange what they have so the death won't come soon.

For example, A promised that he will use his life well.  He will utilize his life to serve God, or maybe to do good things for the others by using his time, his money, etc.  At this time A tend to look for God, he will try to be closer to God because he knows that he has no power to stop death therefore he will look for someone who has power, and most of people believe that God is able.

the fourth is DEPRESSION, 'depresi'.

A had denied that he's going to die, the death still come closer.

A had blamed himself and people around him, the death still walking towards him.

A had tried to exchange everything he has so the death will come later, the death is closer to him now.

Depression, it comes when someone believe that he/she can't do anything anymore.  After doing everything they can and the death still will pick them up, they have nothing to do.  All their bitterness, their anger, had shed in the second stage.  They have nothing to do, feeling helpless, they will become more calm and will retire themselves from their daily activity and their hobbies.  They prefer to spend their times sleeping in silence and do nothing like a new born baby who spend most of its time to sleep and preparing for their new life, people who is going to die tend to sleep, dwell in serenity to prepare themselves to face the death.

the fifth and the last stage is RESIGNATION, SUBMISSION, 'pasrah'.

People who experience this stage will feel at ease, they don't have burden anymore and feeling happy.  And... they're ready to face their death.

From those stages, I thought that what we have from the very beginning until now is our practice to face our own death.  Selfish people won't be able to accept the fact that they're going to die someday.  Why?  Because they will try to get all the things in this world, without realizing that their own life is something they have to use well, it's the real precious things we have.  And our life is the only thing we will have to give up someday.  Our life has been with us from the very beginning until now, it has been part of us of course.  That's why learn to share, to give, to sacrifice.  Sacrificing mean we give something important to us, something precious to us for the others.  It can be our money, our time, or everything that's precious for us.  And of course we will feel more empty after sacrificing something.  But I think that much less we had, our fears will diminish.  Why?

Imagine a rich people, he will be more afraid and worried that there can be robber who will take his wealth or maybe take his life away.  Everytime he wants to help people or there's someone asking for his help, he will be more cautious, more alert, afraid that someone who needs his help has certain intention and will be able to hurt him.  His life (not all of the rich people of course) will be more burdensome because of those thoughts if he's selfish and doesn't want to share with others.

But imagine a simple people or unselfish people, they will help people as they can without worries that something will be taken away because he has nothing.  This is a practice for us to let go everything that's important to us, before in the end..  we have to give our life up.  And I hope we're all can face our death in peace, because we've utilized our life well.  Being simple or unselfish it doesn't mean that we're all not allowed to be rich, of course we have to use our talents well and optimize it, but remember to be thankful because all the things we have now is entrusted by God.