IT ENDS TONIGHT

Currently in love with Root Beer

Fourth semester is going to end soon.

Saturday 11st is my last class and I decided to skip it because I have something important to do.

There're many things happened during this fourth semester.

There's good and bad memories because this semester we have to work our assignments mostly in a group.

Of course we're from different family with different culture.

Sometimes it doesn't match each other and create a miscommunication.

I believe we all do want to have a nice teamwork and give our best to finish the assignments given.

But I do want to apologize to all of my friends for wrong things I've done especially for my group-mates.

I realize sometimes my joke is too much and hurt other's feelings.

Sometimes I demand too much and troubling the others.

I feel it's quite hard for me to approach some of my friends to clear all the things.

Maybe it's just me who think too much or being emotional.

I can't just approach them to tell my true feelings and sort it out because I'm afraid they will misunderstand and gets angrier.

I thought I'm all okay.

I thought I don't have anyone who doesn't like me.

But I was wrong and that's why I apologize here.

I'm a coward to approach them.

But I do feels sorry and I will try to think more carefully before I act and talk.

And thank you for your hard works, thank you for keep standing with me till the end so that we can finish our works.

I'm sorry if I didn't do much on certain parts because I know I'm not capable doing it.

There are good memories about team works I've done with my friends.

Like when we have to stay late to do our work.  I thank you for your commitments.

The best memories is when we're at BiElDi to do our assignments, it was raining and we decided to go home and continue it later.

You my friend who brings another bike, we had nice teamwork to help each other.

It was a good memories and I hope we can build a nice relationship for the future.

I don't mind if you come to me and tell me that there's something about me that troubling you.

I'm still learning too~

I realize that sometimes I nag too much because I think I'm a perfectionist in certain area.

And I do realize that sometimes it becomes really annoying.

I also can't improvise with impromptu plans because I have reasons :

• My house is quite far from the campus.
• The traffic is really random, sometimes it can be jams everywhere but I really try to be on time. That's why I need minimal 2 hours prior notice if you ask me to come. I spend minimal 45 minutes to reach the campus with normal traffic.
• I'm currently working somewhere voluntarily and usually I always prioritize what I've promised to do.

That's why sometimes I ask too much about places and time because I (feel) that I have limited time.

Also I do appreciate for those who come on time because I try to do the same to you.

Coming on time means that you really appreciate me and my time.

So thank you for those who kept coming on time and those who gave me prior notice with reasonable  reasons if they're going to be late.

Once again, thank you and I'm sorry for all the wrong things I've done.  Thank you very much.

Well, recently I'm thinking about my future.

Time flies fast that now I'm about to have my 5th semester (well, of course there's still about 3 months holiday).

I think I'm not ready for the future.

It's mainly because I keep thinking about it too much.

What's on my mind currently is about... death.

The thought that someday your parents will leave you.

I thought that I will never be able to be independent and it makes me sad about it.

So I guess I will try to love my parents more through my actions towards them.

I'm currently listening to I'm in Love by Narsha.

I'm not falling in love tough.  (Well, I am falling in love with ROOT BEERS!)

The song is really nice to be played when you're working on your assignments or just chilling out.

I thank God for everything.

He guides me so I can reach my home safely.

I can do good things because of Him.

But blame me if I do something bad because it means that I start leaving Him.

Final Exams!

God speed!

Happy birthday to me!
Yea...
I don't know what's so special about my birthday.
Actually I feel awkward when people congratulate me.
But I feel really thankful for the prayers and wishes.

On my birthday, of course I thank God for His guidance.
He protects me everywhere I go.
But I don't want to ask for things I want because I'm a human.
My brain is limited, but He really knows what's best for me.

So I will just continue my life and let Him be the Captain and lead me on.

Twenty years old.
More works to do.
More responsibility.
Le sigh.

Well, smile! :)

LoL! Lesson of Life?

Yes, I'm running from my papers.

The mid semester ends today!

It ended on Friday 22nd for me though. Yohoo!

I'm planning to go out with my two KARET this Monday and I have just realized that I have many papers to do. *sigh*

On Sunday I've promised one of my friend to go to an event, but I came home late and there's no much time to get ready and go because my house is quite far away, so I cancelled it and just sleep because Sunday is just too tiring for me.

I woke up at about 23.00 and checked my phone, and there was a message from my friend telling me to do a part of our group project and swoosh!  I remember every paper I have to do.

And now I had read few but my worksheet is still blank....

Anyway, I'm going to write about some of my thoughts.

It's not wrong to listen to parents' words because first, they're older than you and wiser.

Second, they had so much experience and they mostly know how to handle certain situation, they know how to solve certain problem they've experienced.

Third, they know you since you're born.  They know all about you although they can't know what exactly you're thinking but they can guess it and it's right sometimes.

But...

Should I listen to someone who nags constantly?

a man tells a blind to go few steps forward. will the blind do what the man tell if he knows that the man close his eyes because he doesn't want to see?
a child tells his parents how to fix the car.will the father do as his child says to fix their broken car?

What I'm thinking is..
How can you listen to someone that tell you to do this and don't do that but the person itself keep doing that and doesn't want to do this.
For example if someone tells you not to smoke but he keeps smoking, isn't it just weird?
Maybe we will say that smoking is personal choice, it's okay.  Maybe that someone just don't want the other suffer like itself because he can't stop smoking and his health is getting worse.
But what if we get advice from someone in our life, like making an important decision that we can't know the risks yet.
Like a man tells a blind to go forward but he himself doesn't want to see what's in front of him and close his eyes.
Why the blind man has to believe the man who doesn't want to see?
Of course the blind will ask advice from someone who opens their eyes and know what's in front of him.

Then for me, I will listen advices from everyone, but I will choose what I will do by myself.
Can you believe someone's advice that doesn't really know you?
I mean they only talk what they know without knowing what you're facing now, it's rather hard to be done.
Like a child who tells his parents how to fix the car, maybe his father will find something true from what the child says, but the child is still young, he doesn't know anything about car and machinery.
So I can say his father will listen what his children says, but won't do as he says because he knows more than his little child.

We have to be humble and listen to people's advice, moreover from parents' but actually it's our right to decide.
And of course we have to be responsible for everything we have decide.

I did take a side because of one big problem.
And now my view changed because of something had happened.
And I think what I did is right, because I can see what I've been struggling for is not worth it.
I took side with him, but he didn't show any effort to solve the problem.
I better waste my time, my energy for someone who's really struggling now.

Making commitment is easy, but hard to keep.I'm keeping my promise , I want to stay faithful.Cause I know that someday I will be noticed if I keep doing it.And I hope I can get what I deserve.

March please be nice!

It's March already and I had already miss one of my resolutions.

I'm not used to doing strict daily rountine.  I sleep whenever I feel sleepy, I eat whenever I want, etc.

I'm so strict to myself (and of course I'm lazy), I want everything to be perfect but if there's something wrong in the middle, I will lose hope and stop doing it because I can't make it perfect.

One more days until my favorite singer's birthday! :)
It's tomorrow!  The ninth!

Wish I can meet her someday personally and listen to her sing.

So I keep listening boys around me cussing and sometimes I'm not used to it.

I used to be in a community where they rarely using rude words, of course it affected me much.

They helped me to stop cursing, but as I become a student there're so many people and of course some of them really like cursing or use rude words to end their sentence.

And being unstable, of course I have to admit now that it's affecting me..quite much.

Then I think, it's not only to be used as my excuse to curse but..

A sword is dangerous, why?  Because it can be used to hurt people, to stab and kill people.

But a fruit knife or any other knife that our mom usually use to process foods in the kitchen can also be used to hurt people too.

What I mean is, there're rude words and good words.  It only show us how educated people.

A well educated man will speak carefully, and who uses bad words is the opposite.

But then how about ugly?
It can hurt people's feeling to.

So I think it's not the words that good or bad, it's us..the one who used it.
As long we have good intentions, I think there won't be any problems.
Well, that's just my opinion.

Actually I wanted to post this on 1st March, but I was too sleepy and didn't push the publish button instead saving it =.=a

Now I feel sleepy too, but I really going to post it!
Yesterday there're much things happened and it somehow chang my perceptions towards few things.
What I really want now is a humble heart.
I know I'm being too proud now, but now I realized..
Being prideful is like building a high tower for yourself using empty cardboard, the more arrogant you are, the higher tower you build.
And of course, it will be harder when you fall because you build it using empty cardboard, strong wind can blow anytime and that will be the one that make you fall.

Having a quite complicated problem now, and I guess I already knew the answer.
But of course, because it's complicated it means that there're a lot things to consider.
It makes me (and the other people) confused because it involves our interests.
May we be wise enought to decide, DMP is hard!

I'm sorry and thank you...

I'm back!  Yes!  After quite a long time! :)

The forth semester has begun and I don't know if I can survive...

I felt really down in the first semester, and felt better after the second and finally gain my confidence in the third semester.  But now....  I don't know...  I need a long holiday!

By the way, I have told you about my blood type.  Yes, I'm an O type.

After browsing for quite a long time, I found a comic that illustrates every characteristics of each blood type.

It can be true or false, but it's based on a research done in Japan or something like that.

Today I talk about our future partner with my friends while doing our ASSignments.  They asked me about what will I do when I have a boyfriend.

I honestly haven't thought about it, maybe I will change to be more girlier(?) or maybe I will stay the same.  But the comic above maybe will represents what will my relationships be in the future...but who knows.. :D

Okay, enough about that relationships thingy (since maybe all the singles might be a little sensitive when Valentine Day is nearing).

What I can say is, you don't need to have someone to be your valentine on 14th of Feb.  Just be more patient for everyone out there who's waiting for their true love..brohohoho~

Enough, I'm going to talk about this illustration (or you can say, comic)

As you can see, the O type tends to look for the third party to vent their anger.  It can help them to de-stress, but also make the other people become exhausted.

I have just realized about this maybe a month ago.

Me and my mother are the only O type and sometimes if my mother have any problem outside or if my little bro and sist don't do what my mom have said, she will be angry.

And she always tell me about everything that makes her angry.

Actually I have no problem listening to others' if it can help them to de-stress or help them to give some advice.  

I used to have friends calling me at 12 AM only to talk to me although we will meet at school later, and I have no problem with it.  As long as I can help, why not?

But recently it makes me exhausted.  

Someone has been telling me her story and I always feel exhausted after finish listening to her.

Her?

It's my mother.

Why?

Because it feels like my mother is being angry to me when she is telling me about her problems.

So I quite agree about this comic and start thinking by myself because maybe I have that someone where I can tell everything and vent my anger to him/her to de-stress myself.

I have been thinking about it for a week.  Well, I just want to say thanks, for being my friend where I can tell you everything about me.  Thanks to my friends that always force me for my own goodness.  And I feel sorry if I make him/her (since I haven't realized the person) exhausted with my story.

Oh yeah, I'm now learning Chinese.  I hope I can make this chance to learn everything while I can.  At least I can talk a normal daily conversation as soon as possible.

Actually now I'm feeling tired and quite dizzy.

Had just back from a lesson and then start helping my mom while a irresponsible one is having holiday tomorrow but do nothing to help.

Too tired and it's hard to sleep.

Haven't done some assignments, haven't read some reading materials.  KILL ME!

That's enough for today, I think I will be listening to Norah Jones' The Long Day Is Over all day.

The song is just relaxing and simple.

Wan an! :)

My Resolution? 1080x720....

First post in 2013!  Happy (late) new year! 

Actually I'm bored since now I'm having my quite long holiday, yay!

Being nocturnal, I try to do something like playing games on Facebook or just browsing random stuffs.

And of course, I'm not in productive mode during holiday, so I just spend my night (since I sleep during days) eating potato chips and drinking soft drinks (stomach, I'm sorry...)

So, this is a new beginning!  I made some resolutions (more like to-do list) this year.

I'm not doing it like last year, posting it through my facebook and hoping it would motivate me but yeah...as you all know, in the end I couldn't do it because I'm too lazy.

So this year I decided just to make a simple to-do list because every great things begins with just a small step right?  

I don't want to aim for big things because I know I don't have enough will to do it.

Here's my goal this year :

1. Save my money at least 100.000 a month.
   Why?  Because I spent too much last year.
   I had my savings from the angpao(s) I received and the remainings of my payment since I quited the job I had on the first semester.
   But there are some things that make me so stressed and I end up spending it for watching movies and eating tasty foods.
   I had to endure spending Christmas and New Year without having tasty foods because I don't have any money left.
   I SPEND IT ALL AND I DON'T REGRET IT! HAHAHAHAHA!
   
   So this year I will try to save some money so I will be able to spend it for something important (like buying snacks for the Christmas and New Year).
   Well, if it's possible, maybe I can use my savings for buying new guitar or accessories later~  I don't know, but right now I want to save my money!  REALLY!
   My wallet is empty (not really since few days ago my grandma gave me some money, thanks grandma!).
   I hope I can discipline myself and become rich at the end of the year..MUHAHAHAHA!
   
2. Grow nails.
   Yeah...  I want to have a long fingernails, I had a bad habit because I love to peel my nails off.
   I never had long fingernails at least 5 of 10 fingers.
   That's why my fingernails always short and sometimes bleeding badly, so I think I have to grow my nail and endure the urge to peel it off.
   I have to stop it because having bleeding fingers is sometimes annoying.
   The second reason is because someone keep asking me to play the guitar at random ocassion and I often forgot to bring the guitar pick with me so I think I will play better with long nails (remembering that my fingers bleed badly the last time I had to play guitar with a steel strings).
   So, the second to-do list is abot my fingers and fingernails!
   
3. Finish reading Bible. 
   I have post it in 2011 as my resolution but I can't do it for long since it's boring (I have to admit it's hard for me to read bible everyday, even if the lecturers give some reading materials, I will only read it once without paying much attention).
   It's now 4th January 2013 and I've been reading what I have to read.  I don't know why I can do this, maybe it's because I'm so bored so I try to do something I rarely do (hope it won't stop even if the holiday has ended).
   I was also think about doing sport since I rarely go outside because I'm too lazy and all I do is just sleep, eat, play PC, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, and that's all.
   But...yeah, I'm just TOOOOO lazy.
   
4. Help my parents.
   It doesn't mean that I didn't help my parents during 2012.
   I want to force myself to help my parents doing their job, or maybe some small things that will help them or make them happy.
   I realize that family (parents) is the most important things for me as I get older (well, I'm 19 going on 20).
   They accept me as who I am, support me a lot, take a really good care of me.
   I felt a little bit sad when they ask me carefully to help them because they're really busy, I used to become really angry when they asked me because I was tired after having a busy day with my study and later I felt really sorry because they became so careful with their words and actions towards you.
   And after that incident I just think that to help means that you have to sacrifice something you have like the time, energy, thoughts, or other material things for someone.
   I now think that helping your parents means that you're willing to help them although you're having something important to do.  Family comes first!
   So I have to sacrifice my free-time which usually I spend it by sleeping or playing the PC to help my parents.
   Although it's tiring and sometimes boring, I want to lighten their burden.
   And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; (Colossians 3:23 KJV)
   It explains everything right?
   The first reason to help our parents is because they are our parents who loves us.
   The second is because we help them not only for our parents but also we do everything for the Lord.  We can't separate our spiritual life from our daily life, it has to be seen as one.
   That's why sometimes I don't like people who goes to church more often and pay no attention to their family.
   Well, that's just my opinion.

So I guess that's all.  I haven't thought of something to do this year, but of course I want to get better in everything I do.

And now I want to share the song which I think are good.

1. Yohio - Sky Limit ; and Our Story.  You can search his Music Video.  Yes, he's a guy but he looks more girly than me!  For me, it's quite weird to see his MV but I really love Sky Limit and Our Story!
   
2. Linkin Park - The Messenger.  The song is just nice.  End of the story.
   
3. Girls' Generation - IGAB/I Got A Boy (and it means that the whole album is good!) [SOSHI COMEBACK SOSHI DAEBAK!]
    I personally like Lost In Love because it's the duet between Taeyeon and Tiffany.  Taeyeon is my favorite singer and Tiffany's is my second bias in SNSD I guess?
   Romantic St. is good too~!  I love the intro and it's a good song to listen while you're doing your paper or anything.
   I love Promise too~ because of Taeyeon's sweet voice (as always) and it's RnB feeling.  I have to admit that I'm not good to guess the genre.
   And lastly of course I Got A Boy! (I will stop after this because I will recommend all of them if I keep going).  Why I Got A Boy?  Because of Taeyeon!  And well, the music is different from the other songs like The Boys, Gee, etc.  The MV is pretty cool tooo~ They don't wear heels and they dance more powerful!
   

   

   Baby Ellena, my niece~ <3

Well, that's enough for now!

I hope this year will be a wonderful year where we all can be a better person and I hope I can get more money on CNY :P

By the way, have you thought that someday our parents will leave us?  I don't know... it was my random thought when I was having a conversation with my parents and when I think about it.....  I become really worried of losing them.  So I want to make them happy while I still have time.

Be grateful, try to be thankful even though it's just small things before the time teach us how to be thankful.  That's why I made a long list of what I'm thankful for during 2012.  And I will do it for this year too~

Jehovah Rapha, The Lord is my Healer.  He's the Healer of my troubles, sicknesses, and my souls.  Jehovah Jireh, The Lord is my Provider.  Jehovah Shalom, The Lord is our Peace.  Let Your will be done.  <3 M & U! :)

 

Me out~

Standing Egg.

Sunday morning and I skipped church.

I was planning to stay awake after (nearly) finished my paper because I had been sleeping all day on Saturday.  

But I fell asleep at about 4.00 and of course when my mom wakes me up, I could not wake up and decided to sleep.  

I was so sleepy and of course when we are tired, we act accordingly to our body (well maybe it's only me who lacks of determination).

Yes Taeyeon, you're my little star..
Hope she will sing Little Star someday
since she's my fav singer.

Sigh.

Fortunately I sent a message to my brother asking him to buy me i-Cup's Green Tea Green Apple and Green Tea Kiwi with rainbow jelly.  

It tastes really good!

Thank God I can work on my paper without much difficulties(or maybe I just did it because I do not know what to do anymore, I'm suck at making paper *cry silently*

Okay, I have been searching about Urban Zakapa after listening to "Just The Two of Us" and I found so many good song by Urban Zakapa!  

But when I was in the middle searching for more, my friend suggest me to look for Standing Egg.  

It's a strange name right?  

But after listening to one of their song, I fell in love with the male voice!

And one of the reason why I fell asleep is because I was listening to Little Star by Standing Egg.  

It is nice and the male voice just like singing lullaby for you so you can sleep peacefully.  

And after I wake up, I searched for the lyrics.  

So this is the lyric's translation :

Close your eyes and listen carefully to my story

Before my story ends, you will dream

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

When I first met you, it was truly eye-blinding

When I first saw your smile, I felt like I had the whole world

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

When I see you fast asleep in my arms

I can’t take my eyes off you for a second

You’re so pretty – I feel like my breath will stop

How can I fall asleep?

My love, my everything, my angel from heaven

My two eyes, my world – you stole them all

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

When I see you fast asleep in my arms

I can’t take my eyes off you for a second

You’re so pretty – I feel like my breath will stop

How can I fall asleep?

Close your eyes and listen carefully to my story

Before my story ends, you will dream

Little star tonight

All night, I will watch over you

My love tonight

All night, I will watch over you

All night, I will watch over you

(cr: popgasa.com)

See?  This is a lullaby, a romantic one to be precise.  

Well for those who already have boyfriend, you can imagine your boyfriend sing this song to you while playing guitar.  

But for me, I imagine that I sing this song to my niece or nephew while she/he is going to sleep or sing it while hugging a pug let it to sleep in my embrace (if you ask why, because I want a pug as a pet and pug is just too cute! :3).

So, because I am a subjective person, if I like one of the song (USUALLY) I will like it all.

one pack just for my bangs..and it's still brownish
maybe I need more...

I like all of Standing Egg's song (well, maybe not all because I'm not finish searching) because it's all relaxing and it's good to play if while you're doing your homework (it works well with me because I can finish one of my paper).

And this Little Star is good to listen before you sleep.  Sleep well! :P

The second term of mid-test is on Monday, and I have to prepare myself.

But the paper is so stressing, so I relieve my stress by......bleaching my bangs.

I know it is a weird way to relieve the stress, but that's how I do it! Having my hair cut or dyeing it will relieve my stress.  Moreover I love to express myself through my hair.

Looks alay? Never mind!  I love it! :)